i need a job

To dailyglow.com, who offers a FREE virtual makeover program, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! I have now wasted the entire morning trying on a million and two hairstyles. My house is still a mess, the dishes are still dirty, and the laundry still needs washed.


So I must know... what's your fave? Reese? Gweneth? short?

Linked at Kmama's.

mommy, don't do the monster

Word to the wise. Don't tuck your children into bed while you look like this....


It's highly likely it will give them nightmares.

I roared at Otter and I swear he about started crying.

Raven was so scared I had to go wash my face and come back to tell her it was just me. "Mommy, please don't do the monster." She was terrified.

For more Wordless Wednesday, visit 5 Minutes for Mom.

For more Wordful Wednesday, visit Seven Clown Circus.

this or that: makeup

Do you buy your makeup at a discount/drugstore or some type of specialty makeup store?

Since I was a junior in high school, I've used BeautiControl's wet/dry foundation. I buy it on ebay. That's the only "professional" make-up I've ever used. I get the rest at Wal-Mart. Love Cover Girl's eye corrector and concealer. Sephora? Nearest is over 3 hours away. Never used it and probably never will. Ulta? Never heard of it.

So ya, I'm cheap.

For more This or That, visit Winey Mommy.

i got my hair did

I've been getting my hair highlighted for years. My natural color is this nasty ashy color that looks like dirt and ashes. Seriously. I don't like to spend the money getting my roots touched up, so my hair looks a little skunky most the time.

So I made a BIG change. I went dark! I figured maybe this would blend with my natural color a little better. My hair stylist/friend didn't think I'd like it, but I made her do it anyway.

LOVE IT!

{Had a unibrow waxing too. Explanation for the redness.}

truthful tuesdays: 2 unplanned and 1 planned pregnancy

How did you tell DH (or your family) you were pregnant?

Baby #1, Otter

I was 18. I called Hubby (then boy toy) and told him after bawling for hours and telling everyone else on the planet, (except for my parents.)

It was rough because it obviously wasn't planned.

I was living in apartment style dorms in college. My parents stopped through that weekend on their way to state basketball. I wasn't home but they needed to use the bathroom, where they saw on the counter 4 positive pregnancy tests, but I also lived with 3 other girls.

I joined them a few days later and took my best friend with me to tell them the news. They just looked at my face and said, "You are." I shook my head. {insert crying, drama and more drama here.} {and here.} Of course it all turned out more than perfect.

Baby #2, Raven

This one wasn't planned either, but at least we were married this time. :) I sat Hubby down and told him I was pregnant. His response? "Oh shit....I mean....Congratulations?" Or something like that.

Baby #3, The PLANNED one, The Baby

I really wish I would've been a little more creative with this one.

I was late but still getting negative test results. We were hanging out with a bunch of friends and I had to run home to get something. I had to pee so I took a test. Not because I thought I was pregnant but because I was addicted to the damn things. Looked at it, negative, threw it away, walked out, walked back, looked again. The FAINTEST line. I took the test with me and showed Hubby. I don't remember what I said and I don't remember what he said either. How special... We told Otter and he took care of telling everyone else and their dogs.

birth story: raven

I was 5 days late with Raven when I was induced. We dropped Otter off at a friend's and proceeded to the hospital. When we got there, I remember crying after seeing a nurse I disliked, thinking she was going to be my nurse. :) Thankfully she was not, and I couldn't have asked for a better nurse!

The doctor inserted cervidil around 9:30am. I started having contractions around 11:00am. During contractions I repeated 2 Timothy 1:7 over and over and over again. "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." It got me through each and every contraction.

A few hours and some stadol later, the doctor checked me and said he'd be back later.
A couple contractions after he left, I felt the need to push. The nurse paged the doctor and kept telling me not to push. Well it's not like I could exactly help it. I remember gripping and bearing down on the bed railing trying not to push. Hubby said I about broke his hand. That was when the fear really kicked in because I didn't think my doctor was going to make it!

When he finally got there, I probably pushed twice and she was born at 3:33pm on 2/22. 6 lbs 14.4ozs, 19 inches long. Total time from start of contractions to her arrival: 4 hours.

I make them wrap my IV because I can't stand to look at it. Gives me the heebs.

Peeing Women

What is about women and bathrooms? Does it REALLY take that long? Get in and get out, how difficult is it? Grrrrrr. Don't give me that crap about men get to stand up and that's why it doesn't take them that long. Bull. There is NEVER a line for the men's and EVERY time I'm standing in line it takes everything I have not to just go in there myself.

Maybe it's because moms take the kids, I don't know. But I don't really think that's it either because there wasn't one kid in the line that wrapped around two flippin corners. Here's the kicker... it seems ALL women get pissed off about long lines and complain about it the whole time they're in line. If all women hate the long lines than DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! It seems we could all work together to fix this problem, no?

Most the time I just go pop a squat somewhere. Especially if there's alcohol involved. But let's face it, there are just times you have to wait. Tell me what your thoughts are on this ladies. What can we do to change the world?

Have a great week!

birth control minus vomiting...hopefully

If you're not new here you know that birth control and I are not friends. I talked to my doctor today to see what else she recommended. She prescribed NuvaRing, which is a ring you insert "up there." For some reason it kinda gives me the heebs, but we'll see. It probably would've been smart to wait a few weeks to make sure I'm not preggers before I bought it, but I didn't want to jinx it.

After baby #3 I'm definitely getting Mirena. The Doc tried to talk me into it after Raven but I decided against it, mostly because we couldn't afford it at the time.

Otter is now sick. He has an ear infection and a rechid sore throat. Poor kid. Because of the diet we're pretty limited on how we can treat things. Nothing that the sick bed can't take care of.

Have a great weekend!

to have and to hold

So I know the rule is you can't wear white to a wedding. Does the rule apply to this dress or is there enough black in it to get by? Whatcha think?

superstitious? maybe a little

As you've come to know, I procrastinate. I told my mom to be ready to leave town at 9 a.m. on Friday morning, that way we'd be out of town by 10, which turned out to be about right. Pathetic I know.

So off we go. The drive is about 3 hours long, and my dr. appt was at 1:00, leaving us no time to spare. Stop #1 came about 2 1/2 hours into the trip, not bad not bad. Otter had to pee and frankly so did I. My mom had to go too but she stayed in the car with Raven and said she'd wait until we got back. About that time an entire busload of women show up so we decide to venture on. I wish women would learn how to move it along in the damn bathroom.

At this point I decide I better call the doc to tell them I'm going to be late. I check Otter in the rear view. Sleeping. Thank you. I look back at the interstate just in time to see I was about to hit something and there was no way of avoiding it. BAM.CRASH.SHATTER.POW.LOUD NOISES! Wow, I can't believe we just survived that. What the hell was it? We're so lucky we didn't blow a tire. blub blub blub blub. Shit. We did blow a tire.

My mom calls Triple A and they send someone out to change the tire. Question. Do you know how to change a tire? Because I don't know how to change a tire. Apparently my mom and I are the only women who don't know how to change a tire? Whatever, I don't give a flip. I don't know how and I don't want to know how. Besides, I was always told to NEVER EVER change your tire on the interstate, just ruin it and drive to the next exit.

The man who changed our tire said he lost his partner 13 years ago because a truck crashed into him as he was getting a car ready to tow. Can you even imagine?

While we're waiting, I call the doc and fill her in on the situation. I'm thinking, flip, I just drove 3 hours for an appointment that I'm going to have to reschedule. They said they'd work me in whenever I got there. Phew. My poor mom is about ready to pee her pants and I tell her to screw it and squat by the car. She FINALLY gutted up and did it, and then told me she hoped people didn't think that's why we had stopped. OMG. Seriously? Do you know these people? Who in the haitis cares?

As we pulled into town, I proceeded to drive to the other side of it and managed to hit EVERY FLIPPING RED LIGHT. Seriously? I get to my appointment and start filling out the heaping piles of paperwork that end up taking me ONE HOUR. It was then I realized what day it was...Friday...the 13th. It all fell into place. NO STINKIN WONDER!

Anyhoo, a couple hours later I get outta the appointment, (which went very well by the way,) and I'm stranded because they're still replacing the tires on my car. Notice how I said tires? Ya, apparently tires are like shoes, you have to buy them in pairs. Did you know this? I didn't know this. Lucky for me, there was a Goodwill down the street, where I found some smashing good deals.

This could've been the end to a long day, but instead we decide to stop at the mall for a quick in and out. Psh. Long story shorter but still not short...I set off the alarm at the Buckle because I'm trying to look at their shoes that they just have to put right by the door. What the hell? Do you want me to buy your damn shoes or scare me away. Whatev, your loss. Mom picks out shoes. Otter running everywhere. Shoe lady taking FOREVER. Mom goes to pay for shoes. Sees a discount coupon, goes back for more shoes. Shoe lady takes forever. Mom goes to pay for shoes. Other shoes gone. The smart check-out girl put them in someone else's bag. Brilliant. Back to shoe lady. Waiting. Waiting. Pay for shoes. THANK YOU!

Well my fellow readers, I will leave it at that. That was a lot to take in. Any of you have any interesting Friday the 13th happenings? Would love to hear!

i'm a new woman!

I'm feeling totally hip and refreshed. I just got my hair chopped, completely spur of the moment, my husband's gonna flip. I also went and picked up my new hip glasses. I usually wear contacts but my eyes need a breather every now and then. I'm looking like a totally different woman and LOVING it. I feel so damn cute, and I must say I'm also lookin it. I'll post a pic of the new do soon, not that it would matter, since I haven't even posted a pic of the old me. SOOOOOOOO, I suppose I'll have to give ya the before and after shots. Trust. You'll be blown away.

To top of the new me, I'm seeing a great doctor tomorrow to determine the best anti-depressant for my bitchiness, moodiness, horniLESSness, laziness, craziness, psychoness, and [enter word that descibes crazy person here.] I just know this is going to change my life. The potential for being the happiest woman alive is there, I just need to find it. The marriage is even getting better and better by the day. I knew the Lord would come to my rescue!

Anyhoo, the kids and I are leaving town with my mom tomorrow for a wedding on Saturday. I'm excited to get some shopping in. Did I mention the nearest Wal-Mart is 60 miles away, or that the nearest mall is 90 miles away, or that the nearest Target is 200 miles away? As I was saying... I'm excited to get a little shopping in. And some good food, too. We don't live in restaurant haven either.

So here I am again with my face glued to the computer. My house is a mess, there's laundry to be done, as always, I haven't started packing, and I have a staff meeting in an hour that will probably last at least two. Therefore, I decided this would be the perfect time to sit down and start designing our church's website. I was super honored they asked me to do it. Although I find it amusing that they think I can construct an entire website just because I blog like a mad woman, like it's the same thing or something. I'm sorry, but if you can't figure out how to blog, it may be safe to say you're along the lines of incompetent. But hey, I'm up for the website challenge. They bought me the software and I'm thinking it can't be too hard to figure out. We'll see...

Off I go to explore the wonders of the web. Until next time...