Saturday, July 19, 2008

binkless limo cart

So I went to Wal-Mart today. I discovered that I'm very much used to going to Wal-mart kidless, and prefer it that way. Whoa. We go in and Otter wants to get the kids cart. Ya know, the one that's twice as long as a regular cart, making it three times as long as the carts I'm used to here in hick town. I'm thinking, "Oh what great fun this will be for the kids." WRONG! Raven hated it and screamed the whole time. Otter wouldn't stay in the damn thing and I had kids escaping every time I turned my back. Not to mention the damn thing was harder to maneuver than a manual fork lift (not that I ever have operated a manual fork lift, I don't even know if they exist, moving on.) I decide to take it back. I switch the kids over to a normal cart and people are staring as Otter keeps pushing the cart away with his feet so he won't have to get in. He finally lets up after a threat or two from yours truly, and I tell the cart lady I'll quickly go put the cart back where it belongs, (about 20 ft away). Her eyes get kinda big and she says...get this..."It's okay, I'll go put it back and you can tend to your children." Hahahahahaha. Normally that would embarrass me a little but not today.

So, [insert drama here,] [insert my psycho indecisiveness issues here,] [and insert screaming and crying and whining here.] Yes, Raven is screaming and I've lost her bink. No where. So what do I do? I go pull a two-pack off the rack, open the package and plop it in her mouth. No moms, I didn't sterilize it, I didn't wash it, I didn't even rinse it. And allow me to mention the cheapo binks were sold out so I had to buy expensive ones. [insert more drama here]

We get to the checkout line and empty my cart. I throw the empty bink package on the counter and gave the cashier the delio minus the details. Am I honest or what? Well you'll never guess what I discover next...the binks are not in the cart, or my daughter's screaming mouth...BOTH of them are missing. I look in the diaper bag to see if they got thrown in there and guess what I find...THE ORIGINAL BINK!!!!!!! All that shit for nothing! So I pay for all the crap I didn't need anyway and go trucking through the store on a mission to find the binks we no longer needed. I found them. Did that make my day? Um, no, not really.

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