baby fever?

That's right. Baby Fever.

Yes, I'm the one who has a 3-month-old.

Yes, I'm the one who said I was done.

The Baby is the BEST baby! She's already sleeping up to 10 hours at night! TEN people! I never did go through the new-baby-sleep-deprived zombie stage. It's been fabulous.

Hubby and I have had numerous conversations about whether we're done. I've shared with you my dilemmas about birth control. Everyone has always said you'll know when you're done. But I don't. And for some reason I feel like I have to decide NOW.

I decided the next time I got baby fever we'd get a dog. But I don't want a damn dog. I hate dogs.

3 makes more sense to me than 4, but I just can't say that I'm done yet. Why is this bothering me so much?

Our house wouldn't fit 4 kids.

I want to go on vacation, and the more kids we add the more difficult/expensive that's going to be.

In all honestly, I don't know if I'm longing for another baby, or just another pregnancy. I LOVED being pregnant, {even though this last one was the worst,} I LOVED laboring and delivering my babies epidural-free. {crazy I know} It makes me sad that I'll never get to do that again.

I've considered surrogacy, but unfortantely my happy pills take that out of the equation.

I know I just have to give it to God and let him take over. Because let's face it, if He wants me to have another one, it doesn't matter if I'm "done."

When and how did you know you were done?

truthful tuesdays: 2 unplanned and 1 planned pregnancy

How did you tell DH (or your family) you were pregnant?

Baby #1, Otter

I was 18. I called Hubby (then boy toy) and told him after bawling for hours and telling everyone else on the planet, (except for my parents.)

It was rough because it obviously wasn't planned.

I was living in apartment style dorms in college. My parents stopped through that weekend on their way to state basketball. I wasn't home but they needed to use the bathroom, where they saw on the counter 4 positive pregnancy tests, but I also lived with 3 other girls.

I joined them a few days later and took my best friend with me to tell them the news. They just looked at my face and said, "You are." I shook my head. {insert crying, drama and more drama here.} {and here.} Of course it all turned out more than perfect.

Baby #2, Raven

This one wasn't planned either, but at least we were married this time. :) I sat Hubby down and told him I was pregnant. His response? "Oh shit....I mean....Congratulations?" Or something like that.

Baby #3, The PLANNED one, The Baby

I really wish I would've been a little more creative with this one.

I was late but still getting negative test results. We were hanging out with a bunch of friends and I had to run home to get something. I had to pee so I took a test. Not because I thought I was pregnant but because I was addicted to the damn things. Looked at it, negative, threw it away, walked out, walked back, looked again. The FAINTEST line. I took the test with me and showed Hubby. I don't remember what I said and I don't remember what he said either. How special... We told Otter and he took care of telling everyone else and their dogs.

twt: 20 weeks and it's a ...........

GIRL!

She's quite the poser already. Tech took 11 photos!

Is this what I look like to small children?

Sucking her thumb.

the story of my life

So once again I've been MIA for a few weeks. I wouldn't even consider myself to be that busy, just a tad on the lazy side maybe. When I get home I don't even have any energy to get on the computer, so you can only imagine what my house looks like. I'm so thankful I have a cleany husband.

So Otter's EEG went well, but the tech said he had a few discharges during sleep. :( His neuro at Hopkins hasn't seen the EEG yet so we won't know much until we hear from him. We had the same tech we had last year, but she was quite pleasant this go around thank heavens, or I would've not been so nice.

We decided to go to Six Flags instead of the water park, which was a good choice because it was a bit chilly. Word to the wise, don't go to an amusement park when you're pregnant, it's not that fun. It was perfect for Otter cuz I just took him on all his little rides, but there were even rides he liked that I couldn't go on! The best part was when I about got kicked off a ride, but neither of the workers had the guts to ask if I was pregnant. It was a great conversation to watch.

This Friday will be 5 years of marriage. The city will be honoring us with fireworks. :) Have a safe and happy 4th!

you're kidding me

Running a little late again.

Had OB appt on Friday.

STILL couldn't hear the heartbeat!

15 weeks now.

Checked on ultrasound.

Strong heartbeat!

Very active baby.

Posterior placenta.

5 more weeks until we find out the sex.

By the way I decided to find out the sex.

Heading to Children's tomorrow for Otter's EEG.

Not looking forward to sleep deprivation.

Can only sleep from 2-6 am.

Ugh.

If EEG's normal he's coming off the diet!

13 Weeks

to sum it up

Nothing too knew around here.

Took the kids to the pool for the first time last week.

"City" has a brand new pool.

Have I mentioned we bought a king size Tempurpedic bed?

Love it.

Watched the Jon & Kate + 8 premiere.

Hope they make it, don't think they will.

He totally cheated.

Kid stepped on my phone at daycare.

I left it on the ground.

My fault.

Got a new phone.

New version of my old one.

Never done that before.

Still don't have a smart phone.

Otter got his tonsils out yesterday.

Did really well.

Got lots of bags for ride home in case vomiting occurred.

Ended up using the bag myself.

Runza didn't settle so well.

13 weeks pregnant. (Will post pix soon.)

188 days to go.

But probably more like 195.

Still sick.

A little torked about still being sick.

Finally listened to 7 pregnant / recently pregnant friends who recommended Zofran.

It works.

$600/bottle without insurance.

But we have insurance.

Got leftovers from a friend anyway.

Taking a couple more days off to stay home with Otter.

Finding things for him to eat is very challenging because of his diet.

Lots of smoothies and jello.

He's already sick of it and we have two weeks to go.

Better use my imagination.

EEG in 2 weeks.

Then going to a water park.

Big party if EEG's normal.

Complete with the bounce house.

I'm starting the Activia challenge today.

Constipation sucks.

relief is here

Last week's ultrasound showed a strong heartbeat and an actual baby with arms, legs, and fingers, moving all over the place. It's amazing how fast they develop. The miracle of life is so amazing!

Still trying to decide if we should find out the sex at our 20 week ultrasound. I'll be 12 weeks tomorrow. I have a while to think about it. What do you think?

not what i was hoping for

I had my 2nd appt today. I'm 10 weeks and 3 days. The doctor said we should be able to hear the heartbeat and I was so excited. I was around 10 weeks with Raven when I heard her heartbeat for the first time.

He searched for what seemed like eternity, to no avail. He was not at all worried, and said it's pretty much hit or miss at 10 weeks. I put on a front and pretended like I wasn't worried. I don't know why, probably because he wasn't worried. He said I could have an ultrasound but it wouldn't be until next week. He acted like it was unneccessary so I said no. He said he'd see me in 4 weeks and we'd definitely be able to hear it then.

By the time I hit the seat of the car, I was bawling. I called Hubby who met me back at work. I couldn't stop sobbing and he told me I should have asked for the ultrasound. So I called back and scheduled one.

My friend was 10 weeks when they couldn't find a heartbeat, did an ultrasound, and found out there was in fact no heartbeat. She didn't miscarry for another 2 weeks after that. So needless to say I'm freaking out.

My ultrasound is scheduled for Wednesday, until then I'll just try to not to drive myself crazy.

back from the dead

Happy Mother's Day! Today has actually been a good day! I have been having an awful time dealing with morning sickness, laziness, and mood swings. I've felt horrible and depressed.

This will be the last baby.

I finally got around today and did some things that needed to be done around the house. Let's remember that I'm what they call a messie. We made the decision last year that we would hire a house cleaner to come in every two weeks. IT'S WONDERFUL! But I still can't believe how messy our house can get. Now all I need is someone to do my laundry.

I'll be 10 weeks on Tuesday, and will hopefully be able to hear the heartbeat at my appt on Friday!

I'll try to post more this week. I have some things that have been on my mind. Until then!

so it begins...

So I feel both shitty and relieved. Shitty because I puked twice this morning. Relieved because people with morning sickness are slightly at less risk to miscarry. I'm 8 weeks today, at least I avoided it as long as I did.

I definitely forgot what it was like! Not very easy working with 3-yr-olds all day and feeling like crap. Poor kids. :)

So, about the train ride. It was a good experience. I LOVED the train I just wish there would be another option besides the middle of the night to ride it. It COMPLETELY took everything out of me and I was exhausted the whole trip.

I opted to ride back with my in-laws who went up for my cousin-in-law's baby shower. Which meant I had to miss my shopping day but I knew I couldn't handle another midnight ride and survive work the next day.

AND I think I can get my ticket refunded!

cravings and laundry

So I had a huge craving for Mexican food today, but our Taco John's Mexpress isn't exactly the most sanitary place in town. I was just about to risk it when I decided I'd just go to the store and find something else.

Wouldn't ya know, there were some Mexican ladies in the parking lot selling fresh homemade tamales! JACKPOT! Can't get much better than that! And boy did they hit the spot.

Just me and Raven today, Hubby & Otter went to the Spring Game. I've spent the entire day doing laundry, and I do mean the entire day. Finally have most the clothes done, but haven't even touched the towels and blankets. Ugh. Maybe I'll just take them to the laundromat.

6 weeks and 2 days

To start off with, if any of you have been waiting for my immunizations post, I decided not to post it. Too controversial, and I don't want to offend anyone. We all have the right to believe what we want to believe and do what we want to do.

Moving on, I'm still feeling pretty good. Completely EXHAUSTED by the end of the day but don't notice it much during the day. No morning sickness for the most part which I personally consider not to be a good sign. I was horribly sick with my first 2 although I can't remember when it started. My mom had 2 miscarriages and she never got sick with either of them, said she never really felt pregnant at all. Although as I've discovered through lots of googling there are many people who don't "feel" pregnant but go on to have healthy pregnancies.

Have been having some cramping and google also tells me that's normal. I do remember having it with the other two also. But that's enough to drive me crazy.

My first appt is a week from tomorrow, I'll be 7 weeks and 3 days. Anxious to talk to the doctor, although I'm sure google will be more comforting. I'll keep you updated!

sleepless in sickville

So here I am, 3 in the morning and typing away. I've had a cough and congestion for about 2 weeks now. It mainly only flares up at night and it's been AWFUL! Normally I would take my trustworthy NyQuil and be on my merry way to a good night's sleep. Aren't the first months of pregnancy bad enough WITHOUT being sick? Not to mention you can't freakin take anything for it!

I'm a huge believer in Airborne. Swear by it. If I feel sickness coming on I start popping that every 3-4 hours. Did you know you're not even supposed to take that when you're pregnant? I work at a preschool and daycare, it's not like I can really avoid sick kids, who cough and sneeze in your face and practically wipe their noses on your sleeve.

Now in ADDITION to this crappiness, I'm feeling the morning sickness coming on! Unless it's more actual sickness creeping my way.

Let me give you the LD on me. I LOVE my sleep. I NEED my sleep. I SAVOR my sleep and precious weekend naps. SO PLEASE JUST LET ME SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. The concerts were AWESOME! I recommend going if the roadshow's coming to your area. $10 GENERAL ADMISSION! Can't beat that!

P.P.S. Went to Joe's Crab Shack for the first time and ate an entire bucket of crab by myself. YUMMY! Word to the wise: Stick to Applebee's for birthdays and free dessert. Joe's makes you get up and do stuff. We had to stand on chairs in the middle of the restaurant and spell our names with our butts as everyone sang happy birthday. Did we get free dessert? No. Another person had to dig for a cherry (no hands of course) in a bowl of whipped cream in which a cherry did not exist. Great entertainment when you're not the butt of the joke. :)

make it go away

So I'm sure I've done this with both pregnancies, but I am SUPER freaking out that I'm going to miscarry. 4 of my friends have had miscarriages in the past year.

I'm sure everyone does this, which is why most people wait to tell people they're pregnant until after the first trimester. I've already told everyone and their dogs and I'm only 10 minutes pregnant. I just can't keep a secret, I don't know how people do it!

I just pray all day long that God will keep this healthy baby growing inside of me, but I know He has a Master Plan no matter what happens.

Please tell me I'm not crazy! I HATE this feeling. Unfortunately, it's not going to go away until I hear that precious heartbeat, which won't be for at least another 5 weeks! And then a whole new set of worries come along! I guess it doesn't stop.

the funny part

After spending over $50 in negative pregnancy tests the last couple months, I ended up finding out I was pregnant with a $1, yes, ONE DOLLAR test from Dollar General. Go figure.

Tune back in for my controversial post on immmunizations...

back with news!

Okay folks. That was a little harder than I thought it would be. I use the Internet for EVERYTHING! Have a question? Just google it! I think that was the hardest part!

Anyhoo, I told you before I left that I would hopefully be giving you some news. So here we go.

I was supposed to get my period on the 31st, and I had taken around 4 pregnancy tests before that, all negative. Still nothing on the 2nd so I took another one. NEGATIVE. By this time I was beyond disappointed because I knew it would be positive if I really was pregnant since I was 2 days late. I made myself feel better by saying we could now shoot for the New Year's baby. I didn't really want a December baby anyway.

Still no period yesterday so I took another test. At first glance it was negative, but as I looked closer there was the FAINTEST line. SO faint that I thought I might be crazy, but it was definitely there. WHAT A GREAT BIRTHDAY PRESENT!

Took a digital this morning and squealed at the word, "PREGNANT"!

So there it is folks, I am exactly 4 weeks and 5 days pregnant! So I get a December baby after all!

implantation cramping?

So I've never been the type to get cramps during Aunt Flow's visits. Thank the Lord. However, I woke up early this morning with cramping and couldn't figure out why since I'm not expecting my period until next week, and the fact that I never get cramps anyway.

I researched it and found it could in fact be implantation cramping, which occurs about a week after ovulation. And guess what? I'm exactly a week past ovulation!

Does this mean what I think it means? Have to wait and see...

addicted to pregnancy tests

This is getting ridiculous.

I shared a while ago that we're trying to get pregnant. Last month was a no go, as I concluded with about 7 pregnancy tests. I'm addicted to them I tell you! I test WAY before it's even possible to know.

I bought another 2-pack for this month and promised myself I was NOT going to pee on them before the recommended date of use.

Ask me how that is going.

RIDICULOUS! I actually took one last night, and I don't expect to be riding the crimson wave until the 31st. Please explain to me why I felt the need to take a pregnancy test at LEAST a week before I could get a positive result. Was I surprised to see a BFN? (Big fat negative for those not in the lingo.)

Stupidity I say. Stupidity. What is wrong with me? It's seriously like an addiction. Maybe I want to set a world record for finding out the soonest, or maybe it just makes peeing more interesting, who knows!

The nearest Wal-Mart is an hour away and I happened to be there today so I picked up another 2-pack. In my small town, you have to ask the clerk behind the counter for a pregnancy test. I may be an adult but that's still just a little outta the ole comfort zone.

I think I've probably spent over $50 on damn negative pregnancy tests. WTH?

On a slightly different subject, I had a urine analysis today for my job and I have protein in my urine. They told me to see a doctor. What does this mean exactly?

fertile myrtle?

Let's get this revival started on the right foot, shall we?

Big news, kinda, sorta, okay not yet.

Both of the kids have been oopsies. Loved they are but expected they were not. With Raven I was even on birth control! Let's get this straight, it's not like we do it all the time so have a higher chance. In fact with Raven I was at school all month and only came home on the weekends, and weekends didn't always consist of sex.

So when we actually decided to get pregnant, I knew it would be right away. So we start trying, we're talking every other day because that's what they say you're supposed to do.

Am I pregnant you ask? No, I am not. The first time I've ever been disappointed by a negative pregnancy test result, make that 7 negative pregnancy test results.

Hoping to give you the big news next month. In the meantime...well...you know.